My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
jammergirl8811 goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Pikachu.
ahja_reyn tricks you! You get a used tissue.
colorfulkizuna gives you 8 light blue passionfruit-flavoured jawbreakers.
dancingskeleton gives you 18 teal strawberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
hello_q tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
noriko_chijinu tricks you! You lose 20 pieces of candy!
sashyacute gives you 1 blue coconut-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
scottishwish tricks you! You get a block of wood.
jammergirl8811 ends up with 7 pieces of candy, a used tissue, a scratched CD, and a block of wood.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Ha Ha I got a block of wood!!!

I just realized that I always seem to only post the negative in my life. I think it is because when I am happy I don't feel like writing because I have happy things to do. But, when I am sad and depressed I feel like writing to get it all out and feel better! So to break this cycle I will try to write when good things happen too!

Somewhat neutral information is that my cousins are moving out of my parents condo... turns out they trashed the place so we get to spend the next week or so renovating the place! I walked into the place and freaked at the mess. I didn't complain at the cleaning because it was so dirty in there I needed to clean it!!! I had to organize it! I have a really hard time when certain things are not organized and they had junk everywhere! So we spent over 4 hours deep cleaning the house! My biggest achievement it that the walls that where grayish-brown are now white! That was done without paint, just alot of hard core scrubbing! That and the bathtub is not not grey but white too!! I don't understand how anyone could have lived in that house!

So in a few hours (after we are done cleaning our house cus my mother is crazy like that) We will go back for another round of deep cleaning!

On a side note my dog is so smart at times but a complete retard at others! She is adorable!

So I ended up going to work today even tho the sub system was down. I was planning on spending my day upgrading my teaching status and catching up on home work but instead I had to work for a stupid idiot of a teacher and basically do nothing!!!

But the main reason why I feel like crawling into a whole and dying right now is because I got into one of the biggest fights I have ever had with my mother. less than 2 weeks ago I started paying my mother back the money I borrowed in Japan. I started with $200, I tried giving it to her right out of the bank but she told me to wait until we get home and she'd put it in an envelope and label it so we would know where we were with things. I was shocked when my mother got the envelope right when we got home, normally she would wait and do things before getting it. But she was on the phone holding out the envelope for me. I put the money in and felt great cus that was 200 less I had to worry about.

That was until today when my mom asked when I was planning to start paying her back the money I owed her... "oh I haven't gotten my second paycheck yet!" " No you haven't payed me from your first paycheck!!!" "Ummmm your joking right?!?" "You know I am not joking where is the money?" That was when I started to panic! I had given her the $200 just a few days ago!!! I told her when and how I gave it to her. "Don't you dare tell me those lies (insert full name)!!!" " I AM NOT LYING!!! How do you not remember!!" She then told me that I had better get her that 200 come hell or high water! That she was crazy to ever think she could trust me and she would be sure never to trust me again. She was close to telling me to just get out of the house!

I'm not going to lie, I started crying towards the end... On one hand I am mad at my mother she lost that money and now I have to pay for it!! On the other hand I am worried for my mother... she keeps forgetting things, I gave her this money and it was really important and she lost it. She keeps going to the store and getting random things instead of getting groceries... She has always forgot to pick me up so that is not something to go by but recently she has been forgetting me alot! I just don't know what to do! I seem to be saying that alot lately but I am so stressed! I can't afford to pay $200 extra dollars... I wish life wasn't always about money, and I wish my mother wasn't always to horrible to me!

So yeah Friday had to watch my second cousins (the one's whose names start with K, not to be confused with the other set whose names all begin with C) I hadn't really spent much time with them in something like 4 months? But wow They are so big now! I remember changing their diapers and bottle feeding them! But now they are reading chapter books and thank god going to the bathroom by themselves! They were really well behaved the whole time! We had breakfast, played wii, played outside with the dog, had lunch, then gave the dog a bath, watched a movie, had a snack, played outside some more... all the time I had a long list of house work to be doing in between watching the kids. It was a good day!

After they went home my older sister and Jen took my younger sister and me to Ichiza's!! Yay for free great food! BUT older sister don't order a whole bottle of sake when I didn't really want it and I am the only one who drinks sake!! you and me both know I hate wasting and will be forced to drink it all(again!) It's a good thing it takes a heck of alot more to impair my senses otherwise our mother would kill us both!!! But overall it was a nice dinner AND turns out I actually kinda like honey toast, only a small bit because it is still way too buttery but I think I just like the honey and ice cream!

This weekend both my soccer teams won! I was sooo proud of my girls team because they beat the team that killed us last season!! They have improved soo much I am so happy! I am the best defensive coach ever! (yeah yeah I know I am conceded) But right after he games I was kidnapped by my parents and dragged up to our cabin! COLD!!! It was FREEZING!!! I hate the cold! I turned on my heater and sat in front of it doing homework most of the trip! Although there are cattle running around the mountain, complete with cowboy on horseback and cattle dogs! While ATVing I stopped because I am determined to pet a cows nose sometime in my life! I walked bravely up to the cow and MOOOOOOO! *run* It mooed at me and ran away!! Damn cow! I just want to touch your nose is that too much to ask!!! once that one ran all the cows ran from me, so I gave up for now! But listen here cows I will touch your nose someday!!

That's all for now ttyl!

I admit it I am utterly depressed... I have just had the worst 3 hours ever, I felt like crying earlier but now I just don't feel much of anything... I woke up fine, better than the past few days. I went to art class just fine, sure professor had more work for me but whatever that's nothing new. I came home and had lunch, walked my dog nothing unusual... but then I had the worst 3 hours of my life.

I have been trying to get my credit cards straightened out for 2 weeks now, they sent me a bill that I have no clue what it is for apparently I owe $221. I thought I could fix the problem once I got my credit card that I left in Japan... But apparently I over drafted in Japan so they added that money to my account without telling me and now I have to pay it back... I wish they wouldn't have put that money in because I thought it was from my family and I spent it in Japan!!! If I would have known it was bank money I wouldn't have touched it because I HATE the very thought of owing a bank money!!! But now I do, $221, which I DONT HAVE!!! I'll have it in a week or 2 when I get my paycheck but it is due in 5 days... My parents will likely loan me the money but I already owe them so much.

And now come to find out I owe my parents even MORE money!!! I thought I just owed the $1000 I borrowed in Japan, most of that was for my last rent payment... But NO I owe $1800 according to my mother. Why because my parents are being absolutely unreasonable!!! For the past 3 years that I have been going to school I have always payed for my school, this year I found out that I could get money back on my tax return because I pay for my own school! BUT turns out my parents have always been putting down that THEY pay for my school!!! Meaning I am getting screwed! SO... this year I thought since I was in Japan and couldn't pay for my school in Vegas they might pay for it this once... since they have been getting a tax write-off for the past 3 years, it would be right to assume that they would pay at least one semester right?

NO!! I now have been informed that I owe my parents an extra $800! They are not paying a single cent yet again for my schooling (which I didn't think they should UNTILL they lied about paying for it on their tax returns thus getting MY money!!!) So now the initial $1000 has turned into $2000 (the extra $800 + $200 for the bank) which is due before Christmas or else my parents are not buying Christmas presents for anyone... nice guilt trip in that too don't you think!

On top of that I have to pay for the JLPT test by tomorrow, I have the $40 in my account and when I take that out I will have about $1.56 in my account... hahaha I have never had this before! No money in my account, no future plan in my mind, and I'm in dept... I don't know what to do... To be completely worthless haha I just don't know what to do anymore...

I guess I will start by icing my ankle that I twisted walking to school in the heat 3 hours ago, then start my Japanese homework that I didn't do, even tho I am not going to class because I just might have a mental breakdown in the middle of class and I really don't want to A. Embarrass myself by crying my eyes out in front of everyone or B. Physically lash out and hurt someone I don't mean to hurt. Which is possible because at the moment I have isolated my self because I feel like punching the next person I see! *sigh* I just can't help but be angry right now! Angry at myself, angry at the bank, angry at my parents, and angry at life in general! Why is it that I am always hurting for money, I work so damn hard and I save and no matter what every time something unexpected has to come and take my hard earned money... Why does everything always have to revolve around money!!!

I will go be productive now... I just pray maybe this weekend when I gamble for my first time I win some big money... Just enough to get me back to square 1 is all I ask!

I had lab last night after the busiest school day ever!!! The damn professor talked for 3 hours straight!!! We didn't even get to start the stupid lab because time ran out before we even got to start!!! What the hell! I thought oh we are just doing calculus equations so we should be done early... NO 3 hours later and time is up!!! I zoned out after the first hour but apparently the other students said what he was saying was useless, so I didn't miss out on anything! But now I have Calc equations to do!

I was going to switch lab classes to earlier in the day but that would mean dropping Kanji II and not getting my Language degree this year so I can't! BUT good thing is I have an old friend in my lab! She was in one of my old science labs... I don't remember which I have taken so many they all blend together now. But she's friendly and likes to hang out with me outside of school so it should be at least a bearable lab. lol I found out that her friend she introduced me to a while ago(the young halfy that works at Nakata market) has a mad crush on me. lol cute but sorry I dont really like him much, too much of the younger brother look... lol I need to be cautious when going to Nakata market from now on!

Anywho last night I got stupid leg cramps all night long! Whaaaa it was sooo painful, that and my right arm cramped for a bit too, but mostly my legs kept me up in pain. I tried stretching but still no good. I hate my stupid potassium thing!!! I had to wake up and take pain killers which I hate and then eat a banana which I hate even more!!! My mother thinks I should start taking supplements again, but I hate taking pills! Wow I sure do hate alot of things but I guess I should consider the supplements... not that I am old or anything but the older I get the worse this stupid deficiency thing gets and I guess I should start taking it seriously. I don't want to have heart failure in my 20's or anything... on a lesser note Hypokalemia lol sounds kinda like an STD or something! lol sorry I just can't end on a serious note!

Today even though I am all sore and tingly all over I feel really happy! I couldn't start work today which is unfortunate but I really need a day off before I jump into life again! Well with that I will be going up to our cabin in a few hours so I'll see everyone Monday!

NOOOOOO! I don't want to go home! why why was I even a little missing home!! I just talked to my family for maybe 10 minutes and I am decided I 100% don't want to go home!!! I remember how much I hated life before coming to Japan! The reason I lived day to day back then was because I knew I could escape to Japan soon! What am I going to do now! I have nothing to look forward to! Only a bottomless pit of misery and dept and possibly no way out! I am a little freaked out! what am I going to do? I can't go back to living that way!I just can't!!!! But I am not ready to stand on my own 2 feet yet! I can't even drive for crying out loud! But I will go insane if I keep living at home!

I need to think! I need to learn how to drive ASAP! Or for the most part learn how to stay awake while driving!!! After that pay back the dept I got from Japan, it shouldn't be too too hard I can pay it back within a few months! Then find a cheap place to live and I mean super cheap, I have lived in tight living spaces all my life and most places are better than my home! Then it's find a way to get back to Japan if I can do this quickly I might be able to skip that last step and just put up with living with my family for a year, but I really don't think I can last that long!!!

Finally being away from my family has made me realize how horrible I was living!!! Now that I have had a taste of freedom I don't want to be the slave of the house anymore!!! *sigh* why does life have to suck so bad! I am finally happy in Japan out on my own, I don't know how I will be able to live like I used to!

For now I better catch up with my friends and enjoy my last few moments of happiness, they are all I have left!

Ok so yesterday was the best best day of my life so far!

It started out with boring school which led to going to karaoke for 3 hours and then to lingerie shopping in Harajuku (which was fun all in itself) But then I get a call from my Japanese friend (the one Koyama's mom introduced us to!) She was apologizing for not being able to make karaoke... and she informed us she had 2 extra TegoMass tickets for only $65 each!!! OMG I am soo lucky!!! So now I am going to TegoMass on August 5th at Yoyogi gym!!! But my good day didn't end there. After walking home with on sale lingerie and a crepe we started watching Yamapi's new drama Buzzer Beat! AND WE WHERE IN IT!!!!! The third day we where in Japan we went to watch the drama filming and had an awesome time but since we sat in an off camera seat we never thought we would appear in the drama BUT!!! We saw us! 3 times! Uwhaaaa best day ever!!!!












Can you find us? look for the tall one!

WOW am I lucky or what! first Yamapi now KoyaTegoMass!!! Tracy THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for finding it for me! I will pay you back ok! Well I was able to got to a filming of Shounen Club. I had to sit way far in the very back... damn you lottery seating! I had to sit on the 3rd story side section towards the back a bit BUT I could still see pretty well! Mostly the filming was of the HeySayers to whom I dont care a great deal about too bad my little sister couldnt have come that show was made for her! Full of Yamada Ryusuke! Him and those HeySay boys are acting way to sexy for there age ne! Mini Massu (I believe his name is Daiki?) you are one sexy little boy you better be careful cus man pedophiles will be all over you with those moves you where doing!

There was sooo much HSJ and soooo many loud, obnoxious, and over-all RUDE HSJ fans!!! Let Koyama talk and stop yelling out the kids' names! I couldn't hear any of the conversions because all I heard was members names being called from all directions!!! What the Hell calm down it's not like them can see you up here in the nose-bleed section anyways!

Finally TegoMass comes out! YAY I LOVE MASSU's YUKATA!!!! it was half navy blue with white stars and then half white with navy blue stars!!! the obi was pink which didnt match at all but I love Massu when he doesnt match! Tegoshi had a red yukata with white poka-dots reminded me of old school Minnie-mouses dress lol! Oh and as for hair Massu still has the blonde top black tips and Tegoshi... tesshi tesshi tesshi! Are you really trying to look like a girl? what with the poka-dot yukata and the tight curled ringlet hairstyle, it was a girly sight!

Massu kept hugging Koyama from behind the whole time and when Tegoshi tryed to join he was rejected! LOL it was hilarious! TegoMass sang beautifully!!! and then it was more HSJ this time tho it was HeySayBest Abake!!! it was soo funny tho cus on the second question TegoMass come out with HSB are blindfolded, they then start talking bad about Yabu and Hikaru and HSB doesn't know which member is saying these things it was soo funny!!! Finally they revieled and all was ok! when leaving the stage Massu did a cool looking handshake with Hikaru! That was the end of TegoMass... the HeySayers and some juniors played guess whats in the box which was hilarious, Yamada screaming like a 5 year old girl was priceless!

It ended and I went home! It was a lot of fun and I hope soon I can get even closer to Massu!

Did I mention how much I love our apartment! It is the perfect size and is in a really good location! We were busy for the first few days here, getting foreigner registration, paying rent, getting gas and Internet setup. Finally on the third day we were free so we went to the filming on Yamapi's drama. Yamapi is soo small in real life! But really nice too! We were so close to getting to go to a cast dinner! But it seemed that our luck ran out! But that was the best day ever... I mean having Yamapi smile at you, laugh with you, and stare at you all night long, what could be better ne?

The next day we joined a gym, I then bought some gym shoes and had my first crepe... OISHI!!!!! it was the most delicious thing ever!!! Today we went to Shibuya and bought cell phones! YAY I finally have a cell phones!!! I get free e-mail so SUPER tomodachis (you know who you are!!!) e-mail me at kwoodward@softbank.ne.jp After that went to karaoke! SO MUCH FUN!!! and then for some even more fun went to a free live concert. Jenny's bassist was playing with another group! OMG the singer had the voice of an angel (almost on level with Massu and that means a lot to me!) Some breakdancer preformed after that, they were sooo good!

It started raining after the concert and has been since. Just ate some pasta, not the best. I am off to Leaders house, he wants to play with my hair... should I be scared? He has a curling iron! Well we will see! ttyl jaa!

I've been in Japan now for almost 2 days! I LOVE IT!!!! The plane ride over here was sooo long but after finally getting to our apartment it was amazing! Japan's overall feel for me was a little like California, lots of green and good weather! It is a bit humid but i like it! The food here is great too! and our apartment is so cute! although it came with almost nothing in it we had to buy a lot of stuff to put in it! I met with a friend's friend, hi name is Yusuke, he spoke only Japanese but he was a funny guy, plus he knows and somewhat likes Johnnys... he loled at the fact that I like Massu... he was like "Massu?!?! hahahaha" Well that's all I have to say for now so ttyl

P.S. I LOVE MELON PAN!

Had a great lunch at Ichiza's today, food was delicious and I had a blast!
I thought having my family over would be awkward with all the bickering they have been doing but it turned out pretty good... now I just have Sunday with the other half, I still need some tomodachi's to save me!
Senpai's dropped by my house today to borrow a printer, my family was nice enough. They didn't believe that my house is a zoo... well they do now, Asuka screamed when my birds started fighting for her attention lol they are pretty loud when that happens!
Last day of soccer tomorrow, a game that I can't go to, why am I even going again? Kanji Kentei at 1~ish! I'll pass no problem! After that shopping with my older sister, I have to spend that A&F $50 gift card she got me for a birthday/Christmas combo present! I want a T-shirt or 2! I also need a big memory thing for my computer and a skin for it, it's just getting so scratched up!

Well only 2 more full days left! I don't feel nervous or excited right now... more like "get on with it already!" ttyl jaa

Ok so my mother ended up taking over my stupid going away party! (which as of right now I dont care if it happens or not) BUT the final word is that it will be at my Uncle Jerry's house. Which is really nice and huge! He is really excited about it because I have never asked to have a party at his house before (awww he was all cute when he got excited, kinda like when my dad fanboys stuff) But anywho I am calling the Super Tomodachis, and anyone else that wants to come... go ahead invite a friend! The house has a pool, trampoline, billiards, Wii, other game stations which I cant remember, a huge grass field (volleyball anyone?lol) And also my Cousin is making her shredded steak tacos which are the best I have ever tasted! plus there will be other food as well... sooo please come cus I dont want to be stuck with my family all by myself and since I was told to invite friends you have to come ok >_

Well looks like I will be riding with my supertomodachi to the airport Monday. I was clinging to hope that my family would want to see me off, since they wont get to see me for 3 months and all... Nope they would rather sleep in! My mother made it clear that she did not want to take me to the airport! lol my family sure loves me ne! I kinda feel a little awful inside, what is this feeling? kinda like emptiness but not quite... lol oh well it's not like I really expected them to want to say goodbye properly, I just... it was just wishful thinking ne!

*sigh* I kinda feel like crying but that wouldn't help anything! It just hurts knowing and being reminded that your parents don't love you as much as other parents love their children! I have to admit I am a bit jealous of my friends, sure nobody has perfect parents but I am tried of trying and failing for my parents! It's been like this all my life, I am just never as good as my other siblings in anything! My older sister was the best at any sport she played she didn't even have to try she just was good at it! My older brother got in trouble a lot but he was so street smart he could get away with a lot with my parents(not sure if this is really a good quality?!) My little sister gets straight A's while playing sports and an instrument, not to mention she has my father wrapped around her finger, and lastly my younger brother "the child that can do no wrong!" Where am I in this? I am the forgotten child, no really I have been left and forgotten in so many places, I think I am so "my paced" because I am used to wasting time waiting for my parents to remember me! *sigh* I am just too soft and too eager to please others, I should try to stop this because it gets me nowhere but hurt.

OMG sorry I promised not to post these negative posts anymore!!! Sorry! I just needed to vent! It must be boring reading that! Well I will keep trying to only write happy thoughts from now on! Like how I am leaving in less than a week!!! I have the school paid for, the plane paid for, the apartment on hold! We have the game plan for when we first get there down! (basically go as fast as we can to get the the apartment agency before they close!) I can't wait this will be so much fun! well I am off to try to get some boring work done! ttyl Jaa!

Holy Crap it's JUNE 1st!!! June as in the month I am leaving to Japan!! as is I have less than a week left! This is crazy! My heart is beating so fast! I don't know what to do with myself! This feeling is so different, it's like I've never wanted something like this, more in my life! and it's finally happening! I am

Since this is my only day off until we leave for Japan I am starting to pack, making a list of everything I need, things like that. I realized I really need more clothes AND I really need to get rid of a lot of clothes that are either too small, I never wear, or have holes in them! I have a problem of never wanting to get rid of my clothes because they are all special to me, but this must be done! I hope I can go shopping tonight before going to Chris~senpai's house, I need more shorts! I noticed I have alot of boy type clothes, It would be nice to have more girly clothes but I dont think my body is the right shape for that...

I also had to make a decision on what notes to bring... I went through all of my past school notes(not just my Japanese ones) I only kept Chemisty 121 and Physics 121 I also found out that I still have ALL of my past Japanese notes starting from 111-211 there is so much stuff! I had to go through all of my study material from the JLPT and I got depressed because I really did study so much for that test!!! I kept some of it because it might be helpful next year. In the end I decided to take my Nakama 1 and 2, my kanji book, and all the in class grammar points from 211. I am also taking 3 empty notebooks and a binder.

I tryed on the fancy dresses I am taking with me just in case we go to a club or 2 or more. One i've had for quite some time and I must have gotten taller since I last wore it a few years ago cus I dont remember it being quite this short, it still fits but it's very short! It will look very nice if I lose a little weight in my thighs, lets hope that happens with all the walking I'll be doing!

I restocked my first aid kit and hygiene kit so all I really need to do now is pack my outfits! oh and a few other things like my NewS calender and Massu Uchiwa. I can't pack my carry-on bag till the night before because I just use too much of that stuff! Well I need to get back to packing so I can at least see how many outfits I have right now! ttyl jaa

OMG!!!! TegoMass summer concert!!! I will seriously kill to go to this concert!!!! I dont care what the price or what I have to do to get tickets I am going!!!! Massu wait for me! I will be there no matter what!!!!

Wow I had such a long weekend! So much happened too!

Saturday was the first day of our soccer tournament and it went pretty smoothly... I was upset we didn't do concessions (this meant no free food!) That and the ice cream selling people cancelled so I had no ice cream either! So I didn't eat much the whole weekend.

I was in charge of security Saturday night $100 to spend the night at the soccer park. not wanting to do it alone I got my senpai to stay with me and we watched dramas and SmapxSmap all night long! We split the money and actually got paid $60 each instead of $50! Yes I love making easy money!

Well next day I still had to stay at the park all day. I was super tired so I went to my dad's truck and fell asleep... not a good idea seeing as the temperature was just starting to rise and I fell asleep in a totally enclosed car... I work up totally drenched in sweat (which is a rarity in itself because I don't sweat easy) I felt horrible! I felt sicker than I ever have. so I dragged my sorry self to the bathroom splashed some water on my face and went in search of some drinking water.

I felt better after sitting in the shade and drinking lots of water! Finally after 40 hours at the soccer park we got to go home! Oh also at the tournament my little sister hurt her knee! We have to take to to a specialist today to see what's really wrong but we think she might have torn something! Her lager than life ego took a beating at school today because she is in a knee brace and on crutches! She didn't want to go to school at all but she had too! Although it is annoying going to school hurt, everyone asking you what is wrong and people trying to help you when you don't need help! I hated being injured!!! But it happens!

Had super fun yesterday learning how to play volleyball!!! I have a feeling I could get pretty good at this! I just need to understand the rules better, I never know if I can hit the ball or not, or how to hit it... I guess this just comes with practice? I did really good for my first time ever playing a game!I wanna play more!!!

OMG I am signing up for school tonight! Why am I so nervous?! I am excited too!

Jaa ne ttyl!

Today was another good day ne! Although I am a bit sick with a cold, it hurts to talk but nothing to get my spirits down! It will most likely be better tomorrow!

So just now I had a big dilemma... I was playing with Puppy~chan (who still has yet to get an official name, today the favorite is Loony actually Luna but I like Loony better lol) anyways we are playing when *JUMP* she is on the bed and walking across... MY COMPUTER!!!!! NOOOOOOOO! I throw her off and ">_< ... Everything is upside-down!!!! Everything! It takes me a good ten minutes to mess with it trying to figure out how I can fix it before YES!!! I got internet! I get online with the screen still upside-down and all the functions backwards and search how to fix it. Turns out it was super easy to fix! *phew* that was a close one! I was panicing there for a while but it's all good now!

Also since my school district job ends this week I am out of a job after the 22nd of this month... BUT I went to the soccer office with my mother today only to find out that the office manager is in a bind and needs another worker for the next 3 weeks! YES!!! I cant work this week but for the next 2 I can! I really really needed this!!! This will give me that last $1000 I was hoping for! Now I dont need to worry about money as much while in Japan and I wont have to ask my parents for money! Plus I will get free lunchs for the next 2 weeks! That is very important to me as well lol! I am just really gratefull that this is working out for me, I am finally happy that some good things are happening in my life!

What else happened lately? oh at school they put my kid with another teacher Hahaha she couldn't handle him! I know that is really mean but it makes me feel happy to have a kid that only listens to me! It makes me want my own kid... but then again I only spend 7 hours a day with this kid and having one of my own would be way longer... on second thought I dont want kids! First off because they start off as babies and little babies scare the crap out of me! they are ok when they get a little older and are all cute and chubby but newer babies I dont like being around them at all they creep me out and I dont really know why! I want to skip the newborn stage and just jump to like 6 months or something like that lol But I have decided for the next LONG Long time No babies for me!!! I'll just take care of other peoples children and get my parenting fix from that, because I would make an awesome mother... most of the time anyways lol

Ok I have babbled on long enough! Oh one last thing... Right now and going to Japan it feels like I am climbing up the steps of a high dive I am getting more and more nervous as I reach the top!! That is what I feel like right now! The nervous excitment of leaping off something tall! well that's the best way I can explain it!

And before I forget GRADE UPDATE!!! I am still missing my Ecologoy grade cus online classes suck!!! and Anthropology because my teacher died of cancer mid semester so I have no problem waiting for my grade in that class! But otherwise I have:
A in Kanji I (well duh!)
B in MicroEconomics (I could have gotten an A but I ditched too much, meh it was worth it!)
B in Geology (haha! I didn't do the homework and I still passed Take that stupid homework!!)
B in Geology Lab (I still hate you!)
B in Japanese 211 (I am happy with it!)
ttyl Jaa

My writings here have turned from daily to weekly lol... I am just so busy with things and the fact that my Internet is crap at home it is hard for me to update as I please.

Can you believe it?! only 22 days until I will finally be in Japan!!! It is so unreal I can't really wrap my head around it! I have never been fully on my own for so long before and in a foreign country too! I am ready for my life changing experience! I hope I can change for the better! I also realize how much I really want to travel to other places too! I want to explore Europe! And go on a safari in Africa! I want to see so much more of the world I have been blind to until somewhat recently... of course I don't want to see all of this too quickly, I am young and have a long life ahead of me so I will take my time and eventually see the world!

For now I want to have a great time in Japan, improve my speaking ability and have a safe trip! I want to meet a nice guy or 2 and experience a real relationship and God damn it if another guy dates me and tells me after the fact that he just might be gay I just might have to kill something! lol I really do hope to meet Massu and fall in love and all that (you never know dreams do come true sometimes) but then again I really don't want to get tied down and the thing about marring a Johnny's is that work would most likely come first for them... would I really be able to live with that? I don't know yet but time will tell!

After Japan I will most likely come back as if nothing had changed here... I will still be going to school full time, I will try my hardest to get my drivers licence(even tho I am a horrible driver... I recommend everyone stay off the roads while I am out and about)I will also be working as much as I can (this time to pay back any debt I have) My job as a substitute will be hard. Many teachers are getting laid off this summer and most of them will take up subbing until they can get rehired, this makes it hard on me finding a job everyday. I want to try working with people so I can get better people skills, Starbucks sounds like an awesome job! I like making drinks and I really need to develop speaking skills, when it comes to talking to new people alone I fail! Plus all the cool kids work at Starbucks!lol

Today I saw Angels and Demons with a Senpai! Uwaaaa It was good!!! I have seen a lot of movies and they have all been good... even tho I shouldn't be going to movies because I have no money!!! but today I used a movie pass so it was free to me! Yay for spending no money and having a great time! *sigh* this week I work everyday 8-3:30 which is good cus I need the money BUT it is also the week leading up to my family's soccer tournament. We have teams flying here from all over the US even teams from Hawaii! I just hope it all goes smoothly, I will be so tired! And the weekend after that is Spring Fling another tournament I have to run! at least I will get my soccer fix before leaving to Japan! And the weekend after that is the Kanji Kentei! From today onward I will have no free weekends! I will just have to push forward everyday for 22 more days! Yosh! (O~O)v Peace out!

For Gods sake just shut up mother!!!! I don't want to fight you! Just stop trying to pick a fight with me!

*sigh* this morning she was asking me about what my rent would be in Japan. "$600 is too much they are over charging you! You can't stay there!" Ummm this is actually a great price in Japan!!! "What you have to pay utilities too!! What kind of shitty place is this? There is no way utilities are around $100 per person! You are wrong!!" Ok mother you know all this because you are a Japanese housing expert right? You are so wise to tell me I am wrong because you have been to Japan and know this for a fact? Oh how about NO! You don't have a clue! You have no right to tell me anything you racist hypocrite! Ok enough of this rant I just needed to get this off my chest... I am still a bit bitter towards my mother from yesterday too, so now it's best to just spend my time away from her!