I am so tired of having these damn nightmares! I wish they would just stop, but they don't happen so often so I don't know if I should really see a doctor or something... It's just that when they happen it freaks me out! I plan on getting it out and hopefully forgetting about it! I have been reading tho and maybe these nightmares are my subconscious telling me something, why it is so gruesome and twisted idk!

This dream started out like a continuation of what I was doing last night. Me, Z, and J were out and about when I got a call from the coffee prince. Me and him had been dating for awhile and he invited us to watch a movie at his house. We were ready for a fun time and got to his house (it was kinda like the house I lived in before coming to were I live now, so it was big and kinda old and creepy) we started watching a suspence movie when coffee prince went to get us all drinks. We continued watching the movie. Then the power went out, we heard a scream coming from a back room so we went to investagte. At the end of the hall in what should have been the master bedroom was a room divided by a giant glass wall and on the other side was the coffee prince tied to some sort of metal cross type thing. Also in the room next to the coffee prince was a strange man, I couldn't see his face clearly but he had many tools with him. The thing I saw first was that the coffee prince's face had been burned off and then the strange man was cutting deep cuts across his chest one after another. I was trying to break the glass between us. The man kept cutting and then he stopped and left. The wall disappeared and we rushed in to untie the coffee prince but blood was covering us and the floor and going down a drain. I was crying and try to close the holes in his chest but the blood wouldn't stop. It felt like an long time before the blood finally stopped and he was cold and white, dead. I remember screaming and crying and then I woke up.

Idk if I was really screaming or not but I woke up freezing and covered in sweat, and feeling like I was going to be sick. I have a cold but that shouldn't make me feel this sick. This was scary because I normally have nightmares about people i don't really know so having one about the coffee prince freaks me the hell out!!! I have been looking online tho and it seems that nightmares are all about the subconscious trying to figure my problems out, so maybe this all has to do with my stress in real life. I do have a lot of stress surrounding the coffee prince. Like finding out I he was too young for me and then recently finding out that he is 18 and thus an adult, but then the problem that if I date him I could lose my job. That night J did encourage me to go for it while Z discouraged me for the time being anyways... But why did his face have to be burned?!?! That is what has been effecting me the most because I can still see it and I really just want to forget it... Why the hell does my subconscious have to be so damn messed up!?!?

I have been neglecting this so much I am just going to get it all over with!

day 24 → whatever tickles your fancy
Recently... Yoo Ah In... Tho I still love Massu!


day 25 → your day, in great detail
Well I woke up, loved on Ai-chan (who btw thinks all my pillows belong to her now!) Went to work, it wasn't too eventful, I got a school T-shirt tho! Went to the bank, I am almost done paying off my bills from this semester of school only 1/3 of a paycheck away! YAY! Finally went home made/ate yakisoba and finished a mountain of homework and the decided to update/finish this meme!

day 26 → your week, in great detail
Went to Tokyo Disney Audition on Monday... It was a great experience and I'll have to do it again now that I know how to not stick out. Tuesday went back to work. Lots of people were worried and ask how I was feeling, seeing as I lied and told them I was sick Monday. But all went well. Nothing exciting happened Wed-Friday just worked and Thursday watched dramas at Zoey's house.

day 27 → this month, in great detail
I have been working and going to school both full time. Plus coaching 3 soccer teams. I moved from my huge house into a room at my sisters 2 bedroom condo. I traveled cross state for an audition. I have been so busy I don't really remember the details much.

day 28 → this year, in great detail
I won't do into detail much. I don't remember much of the beginning of the year? I was at UNLV for Japanese which sucked... that was this year right? I worked my ass off to get to Japan again this year. And yet again had the time of my life but next time I will have to stay longer and study harder! Now I am back and working my ass off to pay off bills and go to Japan again next summer, this time I really want to not have to worry about money (and find a boyfriend!)

day 29 → hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
oops kinda answered this in the last one. Well since I failed Disney I am looking for another way to work in Japan. I want to improve my Japanese, even tho I am too busy and broke to pay for classes. But I think I might have found a tutor/language exchange partner! I want to at least go back to Japan this summer for a full 3 months and not have to worry about money! I had a date or 2 last trip so I am looking to up the anti and get a full blow boy friend this next time! I also want to finalize getting my job upgrade! I really would love to have an extra $2-$3 an hour pay increase! I also hope that things go well while I am living with my sister. We never really got along the best growing up, but then again we are 6 years apart and complete opposites in just about everything! So far living together has been surprising great! Nothing else really comes to mind at the moment, except for finally meeting Massu, marrying him, having his adorable halfie babies, but I am willing to wait a little longer than 365 days for that to happen!

day 30 → whatever tickles your fancy
Since it's a meme about me why not just end with a picture of ME! (yes I know I am self centered get used to it!)

day 22 → a website
www.livejournal.com
sorry I'm not very original!

day 23 → a YouTube video

day 21 → a recipe
Choco chip cookies!

Ingredients
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup butter or margarine, softened 3/4 cup granulated sugar 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 large egg 1 (12 ounce) package NESTLE® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels 1 cup chopped nuts

Directions
PREHEAT oven to 375 degrees F.
COMBINE flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
BAKE for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

day 20 → a hobby of yours
I like to sing and draw... watch Jdramas... listen to music

I just got great-ish news today. Earlier I was informed that the position that I am in will not be one of the jobs opening up for new hiring (since we got all that grant money and such) BUT the school I am at has been working for the past 2 days trying to pull some strings to get me as a permanent Aide. Today I was informed that they were successful and I will be hired sometime next week after I complete some paperwork! This means a raise, insurance, benefits, paid vacation time, and a steady job. I was having second thoughts today about even going to the disney audition! I mean they worked so hard to get me this job. I dont even have a for sure way to get to my audition, it's going to cost and arm and a led to get there, and I don't even know if I will make it! They could just laugh in my face and tell me to go home...

But I sat down and thought about it, I have been think non stop about it for a long time but I really thought about what if I don't go? I would never know... What if I am exactly what they want and I didn't go and now am stuck as a teacher in the US the rest of my life? I dont want that... even if I fail and waste the money at least I tried right? Plus I'm getting a raise so I'll make the money back. The problem lies in if I do get accepted what am I going to tell the people that just worked so hard to get me my job? What if I do only end up working at Disney for 6 months and have to come back? I hate having things be so unsure!!!

On a happy note I just heard Massu sing the Doraemon song and it was cuteness overload! It sounded like he would be singing that to our children!

day 19 → a talent of yours
I've never been good with coming up with a talent maybe
Singing? drawing cuteness? dealing with kids? That is a talent right?




Only 11 days left of this meme! What will I do with my extra 5 minutes of free time? STUDY! And only 7 days left in my house... I'm really going to miss this place, I really liked having my own place to do whatever I want. At least I am not going back to my parents tho!!! My older sister may have a short temper and a pretty small house but it will hopefully work out! Plus her girlfriend is really cool and can help me with any kind of teaching stuff I may need. Ai-chan will still have to put up with 2 dogs and 3 other cats but at least it is way quieter than my parents house. I'll be a 5 minute walk from work which will be nice! But I can't help but feel sad leaving this place, it is just so short notice! I just have so many changes happening right now and problems that need solving... I miss the simple life!

day 18 → whatever tickles your fancy
This again? hmmm how about an Ai-chan action shot? lols she is itching her head!

day 16 → a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
I don't usually cry unless I am laughing... but if I get too into singing a sad song sometimes tears come to my eyes an example is "Kiss Shita Mama, Sayonara" (Kissしたまま、さよなら) I cant get too too serious when singing this song or I will tear up! There is just too much emotion in there!!!

day 17 → an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
I drew this for my brother... it is a tattoo on his bicep now.


So yeah I am getting more and more behind... oops I should have started this earlier because now that school has started I have little to no time to be online! I am happy to be working tho! The school I am at was the one that screwed me over last year by cancelling me without my knowledge but I will forgive and forget! The teacher I work for is a good teacher and doesn't talk much, which I love! I hate when teacher try to gossip my ear off! I am hear to work and go home not chat all day with you! Plus I found a new mini Massu! A first grader with the cutest chubbiest cheeks ever! Plus great news!!! The school district got some money and will be opening the hiring gates!!!! YAY that means I can upgrade my position! This is great news!

day 14 → a non-fictional book
Marley and Me was super sad! So was My Sister's Keeper, although I think that one is just based on a true story? idk but it was good.

day 15 → a fanfic
I don't really read it therefor I haven't a favorite.

day 13 → a fictional book
Harry Potter? Or is it?
I'm re-reading the last book right now and wow I forgot most of the book... I don't look forward to the end because last time I was so upset with it I swore I would never read any Harry Potter book again! But I think it is time to forgive, live and let live.... or kill every freakin character... no I'm not bitter anymore!